Nigerian Parents || A Letter To You

A letter to Nigerian Parents

Hello guys, welcome to my blog. So I decided to start this series titled “Unfiltered Thought” as a little way in which I could express myself and relief myself of whatever it is that’s going on with me for I feel way better when I write about stuff. For starters, I’m deciding to write a letter to Nigerian Parents.

My dad found out about my blog, he asked me about why I didn’t tell him I had one and all. Not that I was hiding it or anything (you really can’t hide a website) I just didn’t see the need. It’s something I decided to start up on my own, for myself. He finding out is not what even bothers me. I’m actually happy about it because it means my blog is getting out to a wider range of people without me having to push it myself. He said something that normally shouldn’t get to me but it’s got me thinking and actually made me cry.

There’s this thing that comes with age whereby you start getting pressured to do some things and people don’t want to understand that everyone has their own different timing in life. Some are early bloomer, some are late, and some are faster than others while some move at the normal rate. Doesn’t mean everyone wouldn’t get to where they are supposed to neither does it mean they wouldn’t be successful.

Lately, I feel like my dad doesn’t care what I do, for the fact that he says he can’t be bothered or disturbed about what I’m up to, why? Because I’m 21.

I’m sure he meant no harm at all when he made this statement. I’m sure he meant the best. I know my dad wants the best for me. He’s worked so hard to get me into the best of schools, clothe me, put a roof over my head, and provide all my basic needs and more. I really do appreciate him but what do I have to show for it? Nothing.

To be honest, I’m sad and heart broken. I feel alone and like nobody really cares, why? Cause I’m 21. Because my mates are married and I’m not. My mates are done with school and I’m not. Mates have a steady paying job and I don’t. These mates have made something for themselves and I haven’t. My mates have got their lives together and I haven’t.

I know these things, I’m fully aware of what I have and haven’t achieved and it saddens me. I’m alone with no one to talk to, no one to look up to for emotional support. No one to lean on. It’s just me and I can’t help but thing I’m a loser and good for nothing.

Letter To Dad

Dear dad, I love you and I respect you. I know you want the best for me and you do your best possible to provide all of my needs. Words do go a long way. They could either make or break a person. You might just say things from a very good heart and the best perspective known to you but on the receiving end, you might have hurt the person in ways you didn’t even think of.

Please just read this and let it slide and just act like you never saw this post. For it is not to criticize you or make you look bad. It’s just the only way in which I can express my deepest feelings and prevent myself from drifting into depression. You’re a good man, I know this. I’m just a very sensitive person and words do get to me.

Letter To Nigerian Parents

Dear parents, give your children a break. They really do not need a reminder saying your mates are this, your mates are that or you are 21 now or you are 25 now. They know, they are aware and most if not all are already hard enough on themselves. I know I am. These thing make them feel less proud of themselves. It affects them psychologically although, you mean well.

Stop comparing your children to others. Don’t even compare them to your younger selves. For everyone is different. Like the popular saying goes “All fingers are not equal” The best thing you can do is to support them and encourage them but not through comparison.

NOTE:

This goes out to all parents especially Nigerian Parents both Dads and Moms.

Don’t judge me, this is just an unfiltered thought.

You can also read Biba of Royal Biba’s thoughts about Nigerian Parents here

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8 Comments

  1. Hey Tofunmi!!
    I can totally relate.When i was younger i didn’t like my dad i felt he was always on my case and my mom would always remind me has good intentions.
    Fast forward to when i was 17, and i lost my mom and iwas left with my dad and my 3 younger siblings.P.S : i’m 18 now.
    I had no choice but to start bonding with him because he’s currently the only one i have.
    But here’s my point,after this ugly incidence i got closer to my father and i noticed that he really has the best intentions but fathers don’t really know how to show emotions they really don’t and it hurts the children that way.But somewhere deep down, he’s proud of you ( i know so but he isn’t nust showing it he’s just being hard on you)somehow, someway, just continue working hard as you are already doing and you’d see one day he’d say to his friend.That’s my daughter she’s a big blogger in Nigeria and you would smile because your dad said it out of pride. You’ll be fine love.You are doing great!!!!

    http://www.kezzygrace.com

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    1. Aww hun, I’m sorry about your mum. May her soul rest in peace. I love my dad, he’s like the best person ever, just sometimes, what he says gets to me. Like I said, this category is for unfiltered thoughts. Meaning, it’s what I feel at that particular moment, But thank you so much darling. I appreciate you being open

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  2. Wow, this post is really emotional for me. Especially when you talked about your dad, finding your blog and him making you cry.

    All I know is one day, we’ll get there. We will achieve our dreams and it mustn’t be in a particular time frame, we have different destinies and different paths in life, but that dream job, that dream income, that salary, we’ll gt there one day soon.

    And we’ll make our parents proud cause that’s really all they want. Loved this post. Looking forward to more u filtered thoughts.

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  3. This was really deep. But wow, you’re 21! You have way more to do, and the time will come for every of those major milestones. It’s not too late, you’re just starting out at life. Other people are married, so what? Unless you wanted to get married early, don’t let that affect you! There is time for everything, we’re all in different lanes. This is cliche, but you should only be in competition with yourself (I know lol, overused statement, easier said than done)

    Everyone seems to have it together, but they could be looking at you and thinking the same about you, or wishing they were you. They could be just as confused as you, and they could be trying to put up a facade that they do have it together.

    Being human is hard sometimes, and when you try and put age restrictions on certain achievements pressure just develops and things become miserable. I hope you’re alright. You’ll get there, you’ll achieve your goals, you’ll make him proud! Just keep doing your thing, keep being consistent.

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